The Unexpected
Losing someone you love is a hard thing to cope with. For many, death isn’t the most significant topic to talk about. We all wish we could live forever and live our lives to the fullest.
For me, death is a topic I refuse to talk about for an extended time. I begin to have panic attacks if I start thinking about it too much. I have experienced many losses in my life, whether that be family or people close to me that I knew. Even though all my loved ones are healthy and living their life, I have the thought in the back of my head, what will I do when they go?
There was one death that hit me like a truck, and that was about 4 months ago. First, I would like to share the story with you. I started my sophomore year at Mount Mary this last school year, and I had to take a math class for my major. I have never been a fan of mathematics, but I had to complete these two classes as part of my major. It was the start of the year, and I was introduced to my professor. Her name is Michelle Gabor, and she was an adjunct mathematics professor.
I had struggled my way through this class and was scared to ask for help. Not that Michelle was scary; I just didn’t take a liking to her. It was clear that she loved her students and wanted what was best for them. That was no secret. Months pass, and I start to develop a liking for Michelle. The semester ends, and I was bummed but I knew I would see her after Christmas break. I had to take the second math class she taught. I was excited to be in her class and continue discussing politics with her. We shared the same views on politics and would often discuss them with each other.
The second semester begins, and we return to the classroom. I was excited to see Michelle, along with others in the class. We continued to discuss politics and were thrilled about the April election results. The whole class loved Michelle, and we would often laugh together. She never failed to make us laugh and have a good time.
Now that I have told you about her, I will tell you the day I received unexpected news. It was Tuesday, April 14, and we had class twice a week. Tuesday and Thursday were two days I always looked forward to. We had a routine, so I naturally headed into the classroom and got my things ready for the period. As usual, Michelle would always be sitting in the corner of the room, setting up the computer for class. She wasn’t there, which was odd because she ALWAYS is. I found it weird, but I continued normally and waited for class.
It is getting close to 10, which is when my class starts in the morning. She is still not in the classroom, and all of a sudden, another Education professor walks in and sits down. I ask her, “Where is Michelle?”, and she replies, “We will talk about why she’s not here.” We wait for more students to arrive in class. After Kristin, the education professor, walks in and sits, the Chair of the Education department comes in. As soon as she walked in, too, I knew something was wrong. This didn’t seem right. Initially, I thought they were here for licensure or major inquiries.
It’s a couple of minutes past 10 am, and most of the class has arrived. She goes on to say, “You are probably wondering where Michelle is, and that’s why we are here today, to tell you.” As soon as those words came out, I thought, ‘Oh god, one of her cats died.’ A couple of seconds pass, and she goes, “We are so sad to tell you this, but Michelle passed away this weekend”. My heart dropped, and I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. This very moment felt as though I was hit by a truck. I immediately say out loud, ‘No, no’ and the professor replies, ‘Yes, we wanted to tell you in person’.
Hearing the news of Michelle’s passing truly broke me, and I didn’t know what to think. This hit was unexpected, and now, for the last 4 weeks, we had to mourn the loss. This news was hard for me and others. I never saw this coming, and sadly, that's how it is sometimes. I kept thinking ‘what could have possibly happened?’ She was her bright self the week prior, laughing and teaching.
Professor Michelle Gabor, Mathematics Adjunct Faculty and Promise Program Tutor.
It hurts me so much, knowing she is gone, and I can’t see her again. The number of times I want to go and talk with her, I can’t, and that breaks me. I can hear her laughter in the back of my mind, and I wish I could listen to it one last time. Michelle will never be forgotten, and her legacy will live on. She cared about her students and wanted them to succeed. I will never forget her, and will remember her forever. May she rest in peace and continue to be proud of us from afar.
